About my book “Goodbye Girl” 

 

 

I rush home to my husband and children. It’s evening and it is important for me to get home in time to have some quality time with my family. I enter the house, tired and hungry, to find them sitting in the living room watching TV. I sit down next to them on the couch and ask them how their day went. But to my surprise, my children are indifferent and impatient: “Quiet Mom, we can’t hear the TV!”

 

I feel stabbed in the heart and sadness overcomes me – I simply don’t deserve this!

 

I get up, disappointed and hurting, and walk into the kitchen. I make coffee and take advantage of this time to look inside me. I find my anger, my disappointment and my desire to say to my kids: “After all I’ve done for you, how do you dare talk to me that way?” 

 

Fortunately, I recognize in time the intense feelings in me. Physically distancing myself allows me to breathe a moment and understand what is happening to me, while at the same time feel how important my relationship with my children is to me. I continue to look inward while I make a tuna sandwich and sit down to eat it. I am very surprised to find myself smiling again. But I also know that this incident could have played out quite differently had it not been for self-inquiry. Here's how it could have played out and how it had played out many times in the past:

 

I would get annoyed at my kids and scream at them. Or I would lecture the family on how no one is considerate of me, how I help everyone and no one takes any notice of me. And then I would cry or detach myself. I would even give up any attempt to spend quality time with my family. And worst of all – I would close myself off with a bitterness and sadness in my heart, like the walls of a fortress, feeling lonely and unloved in the world, and despite the intense yearning of the heart – feeling unable to love.

 

I had been spared all the suffering, the anger, pain, stress and unnecessary struggles thanks to the self-inquiry I had developed for myself from all the Psychology, Sprituality and personal development material I have studied and applied to my professional and personal life.

 

Yes, today I realize that I experience many moments of inner freedom which now, unlike the past, enable me to keep my heart open and loving even in a challenging reality. But it is important for me to be honest with you, and tell you that even today I have “setbacks”. Even today I am sometimes thrown back into situations that annoy me, anger me, close me up and discourage me, but I recover much more quickly; the “setbacks” no longer occur with the same intensity and frequency as they did before I began the self-inquiry which  I reveal to you in my book “Goodbye Girl”.

How to open up to life: