My Way: Opening Up to Life
From a relatively young age, I focused my life on the path of therapy. I was born in France 42 years ago, and immigrated to Israel with my family when I was 13. I studied here, served in the army and got married. My husband and I moved to South Africa where I studied French literature and Psychology at University. When I returned to Israel I was already a mother of two boys and pregnant with my third child. The truth is that from the moment my first son was born, I felt a deep need for guidance and direction to feel confident in my mothering. I got the help I needed at the Adler Institute through the "Parenting Moderating Course" for professionals. At the end of the course, despite my tremendous lack of confidence, I jumped into the deep end and began to moderate parents. As a result of my work in this field, I felt the need to gain more tools and enrolled in the "Adlerian Coaching" program.
Despite the large amount of literature in the field of parenting, it was hard for me on a personal level as a mother of four to apply the concepts I had learned such as: “unconditional love,” “listening,” “containment,” “mutual respect.” This situation woke difficult feelings from my childhood that were etched in me. I felt a failure as a mother, a moderator and coach, and I hated myself for it. I felt helpless because I saw no way out of this situation. Furthermore, my memory of that period is mainly a sustained feeling of distress. “What is it with me?”, “Is there something wrong with me?” were the kinds of questions that frequently controlled my thoughts. On the surface, my personal and professional life was satisfying, yet I was still overcome with a deep sense of frustration and even depression. I knew that I had to keep developing and find a cure for the constant pain that would put an end to the feeling that “I am not good enough.” Out of sheer emotional difficulty, which I tried to hide, I began therapy where I was exposed to the book “Loving What Is” by Byron Katie. This was the beginning of a new path.
During my journey of personal and spiritual development I was trained as a “facilitator” of Byron Katie’s method ("The Work"), and I was also trained as a “Voice Dialogue” moderator. I studied for two years in the “Drawers" ("Megirot") course. I am currently beginning my fourth year as a student of the “Yemima” method. I hope my journey will continue to develop and evolve all my life.
I began to realize that until I agreed to encounter and accept the little girl in me, she would continue to disrupt and affect my life. The self-inquiry I have done and continue to do is a process that brings me closer to the little girl I was and the childhood I experienced. It is a deep and important process which is sometimes easy for me and other times difficult and painful, but thanks to it, I always gain my inner self and the freedom to choose life. This process accompanies my book “Goodbye Girl”.